SEX IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE PAINFUL
by Mary Kleis, DPT, and Heather Dunfee, DPT
Sex should be an enjoyable and positive experience in our lives. It is not supposed to be painful… ever. Unfortunately, nearly 75% of women will experience pain with intercourse at some point in their lives. This is a very common issue, but it should not be the norm. When pain goes untreated, it can often lead to more pain, apprehension, and avoidance of sex all together. The inability to participate in a healthy sexual relationship can cause feelings of inadequacy or embarrassment and can put a strain on your relationship with your partner.
WHY DOES IT HURT?
Many times pain with sex occurs during the postpartum or post-menopausal period in a woman’s life. However, some women report no apparent reason for the onset of their symptoms. There are several reasons why sex can be painful. First and foremost, psychological and emotional concerns need to be addressed via open communication with your partner and possibly an appropriate mental health provider or counselor. However, there are also many common physical reasons for pain with intercourse, including:
- Hormone changes contributing to vaginal dryness or change in skin integrity
- Scar tissue from vaginal childbirth or trauma
- Tight pelvic floor muscles that make vaginal penetration difficult or cause pain with deep penetration
- Other gynecologic or urologic conditions such as endometriosis, infection, or vulvar skin issues (among others)
WHAT CAN I DO?
- Utilize vaginal lubrication: Find a natural or non-toxic lubrication to decrease friction and skin irritation
- Increase foreplay: Improve your ability to produce natural lubrication and increase blood flow to the pelvic floor muscles to improve their mobility and relaxation
- Practice deep breathing: This decreases your stress level (which affects your hormones) and can also help release tension in your body, including your pelvic floor muscles
- Relax your pelvic floor: Practice focused pelvic floor relaxation exercises such as pelvic drops, yoga stretches, and diaphragmatic breathing. Utilize heat or a warm bath to improve muscle relaxation. Build awareness of where you hold tension in your body- many people unknowingly hold tension in their pelvic floor, similar to how they hold tension in their shoulders.
- Scar tissue mobilization and self-stretching: Desensitize tissue and improve scar tissue mobility by touching, stretching, and gradually massaging scars.
OTHER WAYS TO GET HELP
Consider Pelvic Health Physical Therapy. A specialized pelvic health physical therapist can manually address soft tissue or scar tissue concerns, improve structural alignment and posture, offer guidance through deep breathing and pelvic floor relaxation exercises, and provide pain education and resources to help you return to sex that is pain-free and enjoyable. Whether you are pregnant, postpartum, or at another phase of life, sex should not be painful. Our experts can meet with you, at no charge, to discuss your personal situation and learn if this program can help. Schedule your free 15-minute appointment in person or via live video visit and get your questions answered today.
For more specific ideas to decrease pain with intercourse, watch this video and learn from our pelvic floor experts.
